9 Things That Help When You Don’t Feel Good Enough

9 Things That Help When You Don’t Feel Good Enough

“We are our own worst critic” is a popular quote for a reason: a lot of the time, it’s true.

If you ever feel like the way you are – or who you are – is not good enough, you’re not alone in these feelings. So many of us don’t feel good enough, especially in a world of picture-perfect social media.

But the honest truth is YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. ♡

There are so many different layers and dimensions to a person, there’s no way to measure how “good” someone is, and the fact is that no one is “better” than anyone else.

But changing these feelings of inadequacy can be a struggle. In the worst cases, you kind of have to de-program the way you think about yourself.

I’m not a therapist and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of seeking one out if this is something you seriously struggle with. But I do have a lot of experience with these feelings.

And that’s why today I wanted to share 10 things to help if you ever don’t feel good enough:

 

 

1. Know that feelings aren’t facts

Your thoughts about yourself are just thoughts. Not every thought that we think is true, so we shouldn’t give too much power to them. For some reason, many of us struggle with believing everything our minds tell us – even when our thoughts and feelings are totally irrational and false. When this happens often enough, our minds can totally warp our reality and damage our confidence.

The first step towards overcoming this problem is to recognize it. Accept that your thoughts and feelings are not facts. Just because you think you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not attractive enough – doesn’t mean any of that is true. You’re just biased towards feeling negative about yourself, being too critical of yourself, and unfairly placing judgments on yourself that you don’t apply to anyone else. By being aware of this and constantly reminding yourself of it, you can give it less power to affect your perception of yourself in the future.

 

2. Use positive self-talk and affirmations

As I said above, your feelings aren’t facts but sometimes you can become so programmed to believe your negative self-talk that it changes your entire perception of reality. This is why it’s important to kind of “reprogram” our minds to stop being bullies. Once you’re aware that the negative thoughts and self-talk aren’t true, it’ll be easier to consciously flip the script whenever you notice that your brain is being mean. That’s where positive self-talk and affirmations become super helpful.

One helpful way to do this is to grab a journal or piece of paper and write down every negative thought you have about yourself. Then, on the other side of the paper, reframe each negative thought into a positive one. For example, “I never do anything right” should become “I do many things well.” The list of positive thoughts can become your affirmation list. Read these affirmations to yourself every morning or when you notice that you’re beating yourself up. This will retrain your brain to become more positive, and more confident, and it will open you up to so many more possibilities.

You might like: 35 Morning Affirmations to Start Your Day Right

 

3. Talk to someone you love and trust

If I asked you to list off some positive traits about someone you love, you’d have no problem doing so. No one has a more clear perspective of your full self as a person than the ones closest to you. They recognize and love your positive traits, and they can remind you of them. You can return the favor too!

If you can’t get in touch with a loved one immediately, practice talking to yourself as if you’re a friend or family member. The insults that you’re constantly throwing at yourself are not things you would tell someone you love are they? When you think about things this way, it can shed light on how harmful and mean you’re being to yourself. Turn things around and ask yourself what you would tell a loved one if they were saying those things about themselves.

 

 

4. Help others whenever you can

Helping other people can do wonders for your mental health and well-being. Donating money or volunteering your time for a cause that’s important to you are both great ways to give back and help others. But doing random acts of kindness is another fun thing that you can do on a regular basis to spread some positive energy around. Studies have even shown that acts of kindness can improve your mental health. It can increase your self-esteem, lower your cortisol levels, and more!

If you’d like some ideas of acts of kindness you can do for others or you’d like to read more about the concept, you can check out this post I wrote all about acts of kindness.

 

5. Pay attention to your progress

First of all, I want to say what we all know: we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. The only person we should compare ourselves to is who we were yesterday. Just try to be a better person, improve what you’d like to improve about yourself, and just try to do better. Progress takes time and positive changes rarely happen overnight. Also, we’re all on different journeys with different struggles and we make progress in different ways. Maybe someone else seems to be doing better than you in one area, but they’re struggling in another. Maybe you have obstacles that they don’t have to worry about.

It’s literally pointless to compare ourselves to anyone but ourselves. And it’s also pointless to beat ourselves up for not being where we ultimately want to be. All that does is bring us down and make things worse. We should be celebrating and rewarding ourselves for how far we’ve come instead. Each step in your progress is a reflection of your hard work paying off. This builds our confidence and motivates us to keep going!

 

6. Don’t obsess over external validation

External validation can be a powerful motivator. It feels good to be recognized and appreciated by others, and it can help us build confidence and self-esteem. But relying too much on external validation can be problematic. We can receive praise one day and criticism the next, and this can be destabilizing for our sense of self-worth. When we tie our self-esteem to the approval of others, we become vulnerable to fluctuations in external circumstances, which can negatively impact our mental health.

It’s important to be mindful of how much weight we give external validation. By cultivating a strong sense of self-worth that is independent of external circumstances, we can build resilience, deepen our connection to ourselves, and pursue our goals with greater confidence and clarity. This is why it’s important to get to know ourselves, to align our lives with our values, and to make sure we’re doing things that are in alignment with our hearts and not with the validation of others.

 

 

7. Make self-care a priority

When you focus on your self-care and make it a priority, you’re basically telling yourself that your mental health and well-being are important. You’re telling yourself that you’re worth spending time on. This will help you feel happier, healthier, and more confident.

I’ve spoken about self-care and self-love a lot here on Tami Creates, and here are a few posts you can read about it:

• The 5 Areas of Self-Care + Examples
• 11 Simple Ways to Show Yourself Love (Right Now)
• Me Time: 26 Fun Things to Do Alone

 

8. Be your authentic self

In a world of social media and trends, this tip is SUPER important. Constantly pretending to be someone who isn’t your full self can wreak havoc on your mental health. When you’re choosing to be someone you’re not, you’re basically telling yourself that your true self is unacceptable and unworthy.

When you’re always showing up as your authentic self, you will feel that your heart and your life, and your soul are all in alignment. This is so important for our peace of mind. Don’t let other people influence how you act or who you “pretend” to be. Instead, be yourself and you’ll find the people who will love you for the true you. You will attract YOUR people. All of this will naturally help you feel good enough as you truly are.

 

9. Remember negativity won’t make you better

Hating yourself, talking down to yourself, and being mean to yourself is a waste of time and energy. Repeatedly telling yourself what a failure you are won’t help you succeed. In fact, if we’re being honest, it will most likely just make everything worse and make reaching success harder for you and less likely.

I know this seems obvious, but you need to remind yourself of this whenever you find yourself spiraling into self-hating thoughts. Beating someone down doesn’t help them get better, and that goes for treating yourself this way too. Try to speak to yourself like you’re talking to a child or a loved one. Build yourself up and remind yourself that you’re worthy of patience and love, just like everyone else.

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What are your thoughts on this post? What helps when you don’t feel good enough? Let’s chat in the comments!

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