“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.” ― Mercedes Lackey
Do you have any regrets from your past? I’m sure that all of us do, to some degree. Whether they’re big soul-crushing regrets, or small “wish I would’ve done this” regrets.
Even Steve Jobs, in a final interview, said that he regretted that he hadn’t been closer to his children.
A lot of times, we hold things against ourselves far longer and beat ourselves up far more than the people we hurt ever do. Along the same lines, we often forgive others more easily than we forgive ourselves.
Some people try to go through life with a “no regrets” attitude, and that’s a lovely thought. But sadly, there’s no such thing as a life with absolutely no regrets.
There are a few things in life that I regret, and I’m only 24 years old. Most of what I regret comes from how I behaved and treated people during my teenage years.
And while there are no ways to go through life without regret, there are ways to deal with your feelings of regret and try to overcome them.
Here are some tips for dealing with feelings of regret!
– TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHERE YOUR REGRET IS COMING FROM.
A lot of times with regret, we wonder “why” we did (or didn’t do) the thing(s) that we regret. To eventually overcome this feeling, it’s important to try to understand it. So write down the regret and write down any questions you’re constantly asking yourself about it.
For example, let’s say you regret letting a guy go. You keep asking yourself “Why would I break up with him?” so write it down. Try to work through it, journal about it, try to answer the questions, and try to learn from what you did wrong. It’s great to be able to turn a regret into a learning experience.
– REALIZE THAT THINGS MIGHT NOT HAVE WORKED OUT ANYWAY.
Thinking about how things “might have been” if you did or didn’t do the thing you regret is sort of useless. You don’t know if life would’ve been any better if things had gone differently.
For example, let’s say you regret not moving away with someone who you love. If you had moved away with them, who knows what would’ve happened? Things might have been worse than they are now.
That’s why living in the past, or living with regret, is pointless. You should realize that the only way to live is in the present moment. “What ifs” are just wishful thinking.
– TAKE ACTION TO LET GO OF THE REGRET.
If you understand the regret and you know what’s causing it, take action to let it go. Instead of continuing to live in the past and letting the regret cause suffering, actively try to move on.
Is there something you could do in order to let it go? Is there some sort of support that you could get? Is there someone you could talk to, apologize to, etc. in order to let it go?
– TRULY FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR THE THING YOU REGRET.
This is the most important thing! I’m guessing you regret something that you feel you did wrong. But you need to stop holding it against yourself. What does holding it against yourself do to help the situation?
Remind yourself that we all have regrets, we all make mistakes, we’ve all done the wrong thing before. We’re all human and the only thing we can do is learn from what we did wrong and make sure not to make that mistake again.
The fact that you feel regret shows that you care, and that’s a good thing. Sometimes that’s all that we can do. So forgive yourself and try to move on.
Here’s an amazing article from Tiny Buddha about dealing with regret.
How do you feel about this post? Do you need to work on dealing with feelings of regret? Let’s chat in the comments!
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This can be tough to deal with. I like your ideas. I just remind myself that things to happen for a reason.
I’m the type that can beat myself up for years about something I said that didn’t come out right, or even a tone I took with someone. Eventually I usually apologize or come to the realization that the other person has totally forgotten about it.
I hate when regret sets in. Thanks for helping me deal with it.
I think regret is something we all deal with at some point in our lives. I just have to live with the past and move on.
Regret is the worst kind of emotion to deal with, up there with grief and sorrow. Everyone copes with their emotions differently, but the question is is it ever the RIGHT way? That’s why I like this post. It’s makes things easier. Thanks so much for sharing!
I think the worst thing about regret is not learning from it and then changing your ways. It’s human to err, so I always tell myself I did the best I could with what I had at the time.
When we face regret, it is important to not stay there. It really can impact us in a negative way. Let’s be honest and learning from any mistakes while considering how we can do better. Thank you for sharing on this topic. 😊
Pastor Natalie (Examine This Moment)
Letstakemoment.com
Moving on and acceptance is really important when dealing with regrets. Thanks for sharing this with us thid is so informative
Great post! I tell you that feeling of regret can settle within and wear you down. You have to learn to just let it go and move on
struggling with regret can be differicult to over come. I learned over the years is to let it go and move on from it. Don’t let it get to you, be possitive and have a blessed day. Thanks for sharing this with us.
I always seem to struggle with this, and it will really eat me up inside. It is good to have some strategies to help with this.
I think that regret is the worst feeling. It’s something that I try to do everything possible to avoid it!
Thank you for the reminder to live in the moment. I think we can all get caught up thinking about the things that we didn’t do. Life is too short for that.
I always try to remember that everything good and bad happens for a reason. Though sometimes we figure out that reason other times we don’t.
thanks for these really helpful tips to deal with regret; it certainly can eat at our peace when we start regretting for any reason. I used to follow many of these unconsciously before but more recently, need to make an effort and your post reminded me that we can do it
I do believe that things happen for a reason. So I just accept the fact and move on.
I appreciate your article on dealing with feelings of regret. Regret is a complex emotion that many of us experience at some point in our lives, and your insights and suggestions on how to cope with it are truly valuable. Your emphasis on self-compassion, learning from past experiences, and focusing on personal growth is both comforting and empowering. Thank you for providing guidance and support to those navigating through feelings of regret and helping them find a path towards healing and acceptance.
It’s important to address and process our regrets in a healthy way, and your article offers valuable advice and guidance on how to do so.
I try not to have regrets anymore. I don’t want to be on my last legs and saying things like ‘I wish I had…’ when I could just have done them. I have a harder time with things I HAVE DONE that I regret.